Blog Pie

Every time I begin to write on this blog, I end up deleting the entire post only to post something meaningless and void of true thought and emotion. Enjoy this ascii penis ejaculating on some ascii breasts:

B===D~~~ ( . Y . )

Weekend

Well its that wonderfully depressing day again, Monday. It’s that day that comes along once a week to remind you that your life sucks.  Monday tells you every week ” hey man, fuck you. I don’t care how great your weekend was.  It’s Monday now. whatever dreams and aspirations you may have conceived in the past two days have no chance against reality, so give up.  If you don’t like it, maybe you should kill yourself. Can’t do it, can you?… pussy. You heard me. You’re a fucking pussy! Now get back to work.”  Typically I deal with this abuse from Monday because my weekends are so uneventful there is no use fighting with that asshole.  However this week my friends, even Monday sits in aw as it reviews events that took place in my life.  For fear of epic karmic wrath I shall keep the description of these happenings short and sweet.

Over the weekend, I went to well known porn stars house. Yes you read correct.  I know, I couldn’t believe it either.  Anyway,  she is a very beautiful (actually gorgeous) woman of Japanese descent. she is extremely welcoming and friendly. Unbelievably, during the course of my visit it became known that this young woman enjoyed playing Guitar Hero.  Without hesitation I got my PlayStation and before I knew it I was back to back with her, playing through the first few songs of the game. Shortly thereafter I became extremely intoxicated thanks to wine and vodka shots, and passed out drunk.  Now unfortunately I was the first person to succumb the the forces of alcohol at this gathering, and as a result, had several embarrassing photos of myself taken.  If I ever come across these pictures I feel it is my duty to share them with you (as long as they aren’t too bad). I wish I could give you more details, but out of respect (and fear) I must not do so.

from this weekend I learned that life isn’t all pizza and blow jobs, but every once in a while you become the luckiest mother-fucker on the planet.

-Wes

Rant

So I made the mistake of telling all the people in my office that I have a Blog. In fact I think they are the only people who read this shit. This kinda sucks cause now I have to refrain from using obscene language like fuck or shit or douche-nozzle. well I say, fuck that shit! I should be able to write whatever the fuck I want on this Goddamn thing. Hopefully, those douche-nozzles don’t have a problem with it.

On a much lighter note. I found out that my bank has frozen my accounts and is holding my money hostage for reasons unknown to me.

What to do?

I have never really done any type of blog or ever even kept an actual journal for any extended period of time in my life. so naturally I am at a loss as to what I should record on this thing.  This plagued me so much today in fact that I actually sought the help of my good friend Derek to give me some suggestions. He suggested that since the name is “blog pie” why not blog about actual pies. All aspects of pie, their makings and styles, tastes, presentation, preparation.

I won’t lie this Idea intrigued me.  I do enjoy pie on many levels, but I find that I don’t actually consume it enough to comfortably write about it.  I’m not a food critic and I feel I may not do these confections justice. I mean, whom am I to say that one pie is better than another (Peach  is the best). I am not a baker, so I really can’t give advice on the creation of these magnificent treats (To avoid soggy pie crusts, brush crust with egg white or sprinkle with bread crumbs, and prick all over with a fork).

In short, I can’t blog about pies, so I am still in debate as to what direction I want to take this thing.  In the mean time that sultry temptress peach pie is beckoning me to the fridge, and I have no choice but to obey her commands.  Farewell.

- Weslums

Bwam!

Getting my piece of that tasty Blog Pie.